Dumb. Stupid. Idiotic. Foolish. But because the movie is supposed to be, that makes it funny.

Blades of Glory stars Will Ferrell and Jon Heder. Of course Will Ferrell gets naked at some point because the movie is… well, because he is in the movie. Has anyone else noticed the odd dent in his stomach? What is that? How does that happen? Honestly, of all the people who get naked all the time, why him? Why? Why not Christian Slater, or the hot Spartan king, or any other “it” guy of the moment? Or a chick? A chick would be 10,000 times better.

Blades of Glory is about two competing male figure skaters who get in a fight with each other and are banned from figure skating forever. After a few years of crappy sideshow skating gigs, they discover that they’ve only been banned from the male figure skating division and not the pair category. Apparently it would be impossible to either find a female partner or learn a routine with a female partner in time for the qualification round… so the obvious thing to do would be skate together, since there is no rule about same sex pairs. [Insert a multitude of gay jokes from this point forward] They train together while hating each other. Will Ferrell gets naked. They have to deal with a brother/sister pair that have cheated their way to the top and will stop at nothing to win. They end up liking each other. They learn a death defying, near impossible skating move. They have a little falling out. They pull it together to win the big competition. Not predictable at all.

The movie was funny (dumb funny). The skating moves were digitally enhanced and were quite obviously fake, which added to the dumness (funny dumb) of the movie. If you like Will Ferrell and enjoyed Napoleon Dynomite, you will probably like this movie.

I give this movie 4 out of 5 paloozas. It’s good enough to see in the theater, but if you laugh a lot you might want to save it for a rental so you can rewind.

AAAA

AAAAA paloozas = See this movie in the theater for optimal viewing
AAAA paloozas = See this movie in the theater if you can
AAA paloozas = Pop some popcorn and rent this movie
AA paloozas = Watch this movie on TV … for free
A palooza = … I think you know where I’m going here…
No paloozas = Reserved for Eyes Wide Shut

We saw the movie 300 last weekend. I didn’t think I’d like it because it’s a battle movie, and Nick told me it was loosely based on history, so I almost lost all interest completely. It was good though. The battle scenes were more believable than far fetched as far as digital animation goes. And I’m told the movie was done completely on green screen as well.

My initial thought was, “It it really necessary for men to go into battle wearing nothing but little leather shorts and a cape?”… Yes, yes it is completely necessary.

**Spoiler Alert** I guess I assumed that because they made a movie about this that the Spartans would have won… but they didn’t. All the hot guys died and that was rather disappointing.

Anyway, I give this movie 4 out of 5 paloozas (mainly because it’s all digital and looks cool in a theater). See it at one of the IMax theaters if you can.

AAAA

AAAAA paloozas = See this movie in the theater for optimal viewing
AAAA paloozas = See this movie in the theater if you can
AAA paloozas = Pop some popcorn and rent this movie
AA paloozas = Watch this movie on TV … for free
A palooza = … I think you know where I’m going here…
No paloozas = Reserved for Eyes Wide Shut

OK, so I’ve put off watching this movie for 3 years because it got horrible reviews. And because Christian Slater is in it, I figured as long as I didn’t watch it I wouldn’t have to admit to myself how horrible it really was. All in all, it wasn’t that bad…

The basic plot is about a group of FBI agents who travel to a deserted military island for the weekend for a simulated lesson on profiling. However, as members of the group start dying, they realize there is a murderer among them. Now the profilers are being profiled. Can they profile the murderer before they all end up dead?

**Spoiler Alert** This may seem like an over simplification, but it’s really not. My original plan was to watch the movie until Christian Slater’s character died. That way I wouldn’t have to suffer through the entire movie. As it turned out, I found myself quite interested in how it all went down. My biggest pet peeve about this movie is that it “stars” Val Kilmer and Christian Slater. Now, Christian is the first to kick the bucket, which was quite the disappointment. Val Kilmer on the other hand is alive for the majority of the movie, but not present during the events on the island. He makes a brief appearance at the end as a dead human puppet, which I can only assume wasn’t really him. Fortunately, for the sake of visual interest, LL Cool J was alive and present through the whole movie.

Anyway, I stayed interested through the whole movie. The acting was good. The plot kept me on my toes and there were a few twists at the end that kept me guessing who the killer really was. I give this movie 3 out of 5 paloozas.

AAA

AAAAA paloozas = See this movie in the theater for optimal viewing
AAAA paloozas = See this movie in the theater if you can
AAA paloozas = Pop some popcorn and rent this movie
AA paloozas = Watch this movie on TV … for free
A palooza = … I think you know where I’m going here…
No paloozas = Reserved for Eyes Wide Shut